From crosby, minnesota

Positivity
Toward Life

by Phil Silgen

I am a husband and a father of six children, I work as a medical physicist in radiation therapy, and I coach basketball and baseball. I have been blessed abundantly. By all standards, I have a great life and I am very fortunate. But I often have experienced a deep sense of longing and emptiness; a strong desire for something more.
About a year ago, I started spending an hour each week at our Adoration Chapel. I started reading to learn more about the faith. Then a friend invited me to School of Community. I was blown away! I recognized a positivity and an intensity in these people that I wanted for myself.
I started reading everything I could from Fr. Giussani. My appetite for more has been insatiable. I attended the GS Equipe [high school student leaders’ annual CL meeting] and have been attending the weekly GS meetings ever since. I go to GS for me. There has been a dramatic and verifiable change in me; a profound optimism and positivity toward life and my future.
Fr. Giussani says, “Within the man to whom Christ draws near and who freely desires and accepts the relationship with Him–and, therefore, within the Church–his nature as a man changes. This is the ontological ‘exaltation’ of the ‘I,’ a leap in the participation of Being…. Man remains man but becomes something more…. The Gospel calls this… ‘being born again.’” This past year, I have begun to recognize that we all live a damaged relationship with reality. The dualism is present, but reality is a sign of the Mystery! The Mystery has entered history!
Christ is present to me in this companionship and this helps me live out my vocation more fully. Sometimes I have difficulty seeing Christ present in my daily work experience as a medical physicist. Fr. Giussani has said, “I see what you see, but I see so much more.” So, I pray for this sight. I want to see what he sees; I want to see Christ in everything and in all I do.
I am reminded of the Gospel story in which Jesus asks the Twelve, “Do you want to leave?” This is the question of now! This is 4:01 pm! The Encounter happened; it is a Fact. But where do I go now? Peter answered Him, “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” I don’t need to understand everything, to know, a priori, what the future will bring; my responsibility is just to follow. I want to live this companionship and to follow my heart. I want to “live for the love of something that is happening now.”