01-04-2007 - Traces, n. 4
LETTERS
LETTERS
Keeping
the Question Alive
Dearest Fr. Julián: When I got to the Memores Domini summer retreat, I was very tired and stressed because of some situations at work, in my house, and with my family. That morning, during the silence after your lesson, I realized for the first time that I had never truly done the judgment work that you were asking of us and, for example, I had never faced my anxiety. The issue had always been how to solve problems, instead of “what I really want, what corresponds to my heart now, within this mood, within this preoccupation.” I realized that it’s a fine line: either you do this work on everything, or you don’t do it on anything, because it’s precisely an instance of the truth of my self that cannot afford to “screen” situations, feelings, etc. When suffocating with anxiety, I started asking myself, “What do I really need now?” Then, every time, an incredible window into knowledge of reality would open up for me, with a simpler and more adequate gaze, and, above all, a continually renewed correspondence of the companionship of Jesus, within everything I would think or do. I physically experienced what Don Gius said, and you repeated: “Everything belongs to me, with that solace and that repose that come from the perception of the vanishing point that is within everything, and that connects everything with the ultimate Destiny, with the ultimate Mystery, who revealed Himself in all His might, mercy, and justice: the risen Christ.” The very anxiety I would feel and everything that it entailed would become the catalyst for me to once again make my “I” and the bundle of needs and true evidences at the bottom of my heart the matter at hand–there was nothing to hide anymore; I could look with sympathy even to that which within me seemed to be an obstacle to a normal expression of myself. From those days on, the work never stopped, even if making it a habit is still not immediate. Today, what really strikes me is the change in the way I stay in front of things, not being afraid of my state of mind and therefore not being determined by it, facing both the daily struggles and the miracles that happen in front of me, mainly in the life of my house. I’m surprised by the fact that even when anxiety strikes, I can look at it and make it useful for my work. But, most of all, it’s really true that when one takes on his human need, even the most hidden, with sincerity, an ever new plea springs forth: “I need You, Jesus; come and be my companion”–and reality is indeed revealed as the place of a prompt answer. What you said at the end of the second point of the CLU Retreat impressed me and stayed with me: “The problem is to let ourselves be struck, to leave space to what happens, because only this allows us to breathe. All our attempts are not enough; they can’t produce even an instant of that newness that enters our life as an event.” Living with just a bit of this awareness allowed me to get up in the morning filled with an asking and a waiting attitude in front of everything, to welcome events and encounters with open arms, to enter a situation marked by a rather exceptional circumstance in a simple and glad way. During the first evening of our Advent Retreat, you quoted John Paul II: “There will be no faithfulness unless a question, to which only God is the answer, will be found in the heart of man.” I immediately thought that I really want to ask Jesus to help me keep this question alive, this need of my “I” that I can face and value, so that Jesus will not be just a word or an image, but truly the Lord of my life.
Carla, MilanRisk of Education
Dearest Fr. Carròn: Some months ago, we presented The Risk of Education here in Manchester, England. As Italians living abroad, we typically face the lack of a large community and the entreaty for the meaning of our lives here is acute. The organization was hard, we made mistakes, and we encountered unexpected resistance. Eventually, miraculously, the presentation took place! But the most amazing thing was the deeper friendship we developed with the people we met along the way. In preparation for the event, Laura and Karolina, two undergraduates (respectively from England and Poland), started to read the book with us. The simplicity of these two girls was very impressive and helped us to compare what Gius says with our experiences. Father Ian is the responsible of the University Catholic Chaplaincy and has been helping us to find a room for the School of Community for the past few years; now he agreed to be one of the speakers at the presentation. In this way, he could see and judge our charism from a closer point of view. Father Ian enthusiastically talked for 45 minutes, continuously comparing his experience with passages from the book. The second speaker was Peter, a University of Manchester Teaching Learning and Assessment Officer. This learned Englishman, a father of four, belongs to the Neo-catechumenal Way. He promptly responded to our timorous proposal to get involved. We were stricken when he said, “This book may remain at an abstract level. The only way I can see to understand it is to try it out.” The last speaker was Dominic, who belongs to the English CL community. He gave several examples from his own family life. We were a bit surprised by the good attendance. Even the Vicar General of the Diocese was there. Almost silently, the Movement officially entered Manchester’s Catholic community.
Cristina, Cristian, Alessandro, Luca, Miriam, Anna Manchester, England
A Gesture of Unity
Dear Father Carrón: I am returning to the USA after the gathering with Pope Benedict yesterday. I was so moved by this experience of the Church as a life, celebrated by the larger Church through the embrace of the Pope and the embrace of being with companions in the charism of Fr. Giussani. What a beautiful gesture of unity and belonging! After the lovely preparation time and the arrival of Pope Benedict, I stood on my chair, singing our songs and waving to the Holy Father in the rain. I started to weep with the grace of tears from within (since there was water everywhere I didn’t feel so self conscious!); my heart was penetrated with the experience of being in this particular place with friends and recognizing our way to stay with Christ. Numerous occasions in my life time have offered an opportunity for a papal audience and I have always been renewed in my consciousness of the Universal Church and the leadership of the Pope. But I have not known an experience of tears that expressed such a level of belonging to the Institutional Church as a diocesan priest and the gift of a charism being so embraced by the love of a Father. There, I was in the midst of this grand celebration, weeping like a child and knowing that my grateful heart was in the right place. I just needed to be a child available for change without trying to manage anything. It was clear that no organization, no scheme of planning could have created the heart of a child in me during this gathering, only the One I love and have come to know through following Fr. Giussani. I loved the challenge of the Holy Father reminding us of mission and asking that we be participants with Christ and not spectators. On that day, we were a real people, messy and broken and called by God to live a life as real human beings, believing that nothing is impossible with God as we allow our hearts to be renovated. Standing in that place, I understood what it means to rediscover my Baptism and live life intensely in all of reality without being automatic about anything. Thank you, Father Carrón, for your tireless witness of teaching us to follow the charism of Fr. Giussani.
Fr. Jerry, Rochester, Minnesota
At the Monumentale Cemetery
Passing by the Monumentale, I decided to go in to say “hello” to Fr. Gius. I got to the tomb and I saw three kids, around 12–14 years of age, kneeling on the floor in front of the image of Fr. Giussani. They were saying the Angelus, and after that they got up and left in silence. Leaving the cemetery, I caught up with them at the gate and, fascinated by their gesture, I asked them whether they knew Giussani personally. None of the three ever met him, but they know him through their parents and because they attend the Sacro Cuore Institute. On my way home, I was grateful to God and to Fr. Gius for the three kids who witnessed to me how, by following, one can be free, great, and simple.
Maria Teresa, Milan
In Front of the TV
Dear Fr. Carrón: This afternoon, I saw a television special on Fr. Giussani. We had been encouraged at School of Community to get together and watch the special, so my husband and I invited some friends of ours and their children to our house (22 people in total). We have three children and a foster-care teenage boy, who every twenty days spends a weekend at our house. The previous day we had dragged him to the photo exhibit on Budapest in Mercanti Square. There I asked myself if the special on Fr. Giussani would prove to be too much for him. As soon as the broadcast started, the room was filled with total silence. Our boy left the room at the beginning of the special, then he sat down at the table to eat something, but his eyes were always focused on the TV–one moment he would get distracted, the next he would come back.... I was moved to tears, because of Fr. Giussani’s voice and his words, but mainly his eyes, his kneeling down in front of John Paul II, who was kissing him on the forehead, just like a father would do. Suddenly, I understood! It did not matter how much our “acquired son” and our natural children could understand of what they were seeing and listening to. They were there! Their eyes have seen, their ears have heard, and if even a slight crack opened up in their hearts for a fraction of a second, that was enough–the rest was Grace! The Holy Spirit truly blows wherever and however It wants! Being able to listen to Fr. Giussani once again, to our history, to the people who knew him, and to you, Father Carrón, reaffirmed what I always think about when I read School of Community, or every time I come to the retreats, every time I go to the Meeting with my husband and my children or I get together with my Fraternity friends, every time I look at out foster son, or I meet with the “Welcoming Families” association: we really are made for something great!
Milena, Milan
Returning Home
Dear friends: I’m on my way back to a people that hasn’t done anything but kill each other, back to the land where I was born (Somalia). Since I have gotten to know the Truth, thanks to my friend and colleague Dr. Patrono, I have always prayed to have the possibility to go back home to witness to my experience in the Movement. I want to do this because if I hadn’t met you, I would carry within me only hatred and desire for vengeance, while now I want to show, through my changed life, that reality is positive and far from the path that, down there, they have been walking for years now. I’m going to carry out a humanitarian activity connected with my profession as a veterinarian (zootechnics represents their main source of sustenance), but, as I said, my mission does not stop there. I hope to be able to witness the Truth to my people, even if I am very afraid because in that area you can get into serious trouble only by mentioning its name. I carry in my heart Fr. Giussani’s words, with which I beg every day: “In the simplicity of my heart I gladly give You everything.” I take you with me. Thank you.
Dr. Abdi Farah Abdulkadir, Somalia
Forty Years in Brazil
Dearest friends: With a heart filled to the brim with joy, and moved for the grandiose party some friends, with love and sacrifice, threw on February 25th for my forty years in Brazil, I want to communicate to each one of you what those years have been for me. To look at this piece of history means, above all, recognizing the spectacle of mercy that my eyes have seen, a mercy that took flesh within the company of friends who embraced me as I am and supported me. On September 8, 1967, Fr. Giussani told me in a letter: “Don’t ever fear anything, outside or inside you, as the Angel said to our Lady. And trust our Lady, like a child would, and in your heart give praise to God, who chose you as you are, and who will make you become what He wants you to be. Your most affectionate Don Gius.” And again on December 7, 1968: “God put you in the world and sent you to Brazil to help men, to make them know Jesus Christ, and to help them live a Christian life, which is true human life. Love Jesus Christ, Rosetta, with all of your self, and use charity toward all, up to the point of breaking your heart. Your mother, who is so good, certainly wants you this way. I embrace you and I encourage you. Yours, Don Gius.” Time made visible the certainty of the limitless grace and faithfulness of God, even within my limits and betrayals. A heartfelt “thank you” for your precious friendship.
Rosetta, Belo Horizonte
Meeting the
Movement in Japan
I am Peruvian and I met the Movement of Communion and Liberation in Hiroshima, where I lived illegally for fourteen years, working for my family back home. I was transferred to the city of Osaka, where I was detained in the immigration center. There, I encountered people of different nationalities, coming from Latin America, Asia, and the Middle East. Despite the differences in language, culture, and religion, we were able to form bonds of friendship, since the majority mastered the Japanese language–if not completely, at least 70 % (enough to communicate). The vast majority of us are in here on the charge of illegal immigration, waiting to be transferred. Each one of us has a different story, but we all got to this country with only one goal: to work for our families or to pay for our children’s education, each in our countries of origin. During my stay in Japan, I learned to love Christ according to the doctrine of the Catholic Church, which taught me to look at life from a different point of view. Specifically: that Light always rises from every sorrow, because God always arranges things according to His immense wisdom. As the days went by, I realized that the majority of the inmates were Christians–Catholics, Protestants, or Jehovah’s Witnesses–and each had his own Bible, in his own respective language. For this reason, along with a couple of American Protestant friends, we decided to read the Bible and pray. After a week, the small group had grown considerably, making me understand the extent of the thirst for God that was there. Everybody showed interest for the study of the Word of God and prayer, assisted by people coming from far away countries like Nepal, the Philippines, Sri Lanka, Indonesia, and Korea, as well as South American countries like Brazil, Peru, Chile, and Bolivia. I did not hesitate to ask for help from a great friend, Fr. Arnaldo Negri, an Italian. It was thanks to this Catholic father that I encountered CL in Hiroshima, deepening my knowledge of the Mystery through the Movement. Fr. Negri periodically supplies me with Traces, both in Spanish and in Portuguese, as well as with abundant literature on each week’s Gospel in English, Spanish, and Portuguese. He helps us and brings a lot of strength to our meetings, which translates into love for the risen Christ and into the possibility to establish deep bonds of friendship between people who never met before, who come from different continents, but who are united by the one faith in the one God. We are able to rejoice with indescribable emotion as we listen to the Bible being read in our own language, and then listening to someone comment on the reading in Japanese, or to prayers to God recited in the different languages. As the Letter to the Ephesians (4:3-4) says, “…striving to preserve the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace: one body and one Spirit,” I truly realize that Jesus is in our midst.
Roberto, Osaka (Japan)
A New Experience
My work experience at the “CDS” (solidarity Centers) started with an encounter. More or less a year ago, I met Annarita and, through her witness, I became aware of the initiatives that go on in the Rione Sanita’ of Naples. What she recounted fascinated me, and after graduating I spontaneously and with little thought expressed the desire to work in those very places she talked about. Actually, I think that it is only now, day by day, moment by moment, that I am starting to appreciate the greatness and, at the same time, the difficulty of the experience I am living. I think my choice was in part determined by a natural response to something simple, beautiful, just, and true that was calling me to Him. I did it also and above all for myself. I had hopes that going far from home would help me mature and grow on a personal level, and I knew very well that the work experience I was about to embrace would be a very enriching and formative one. From the beginning of the after-school activities, I established a good relationship with the children. Initially, they were intrigued by me and by the fact that I was from Milan. It was a positive curiosity, one that quickly pushed them to get closer to me. I still cannot explain with a merely rational motivation the reason for such an immediate closeness. It would be silly to attribute everything to a special capacity of mine, because it’s clear that is not possible, and thinking otherwise would be a presumption and a limitation. The kids I deal with live very difficult circumstances, but they have immense hearts. This may be what really makes the difference: the heart. They opened up to me first and, as a consequence, I opened up to them. So the afternoon activities, the field trips, and the Christmas party all contributed to making me feel part of them, and allowed parents and kids to look at me in a beautiful and true way, and to consider me as an integral part of the CDS. I had thrown myself into this experience a bit recklessly, not being fully aware of the fact that I was distancing myself from my life as I knew it, not realizing that once far removed from my dear ones, everything sometimes would seem more difficult. Reading Fr. Giussani’s book The Risk of Education with my colleagues has been something truly new to me. I knew Father Giussani through my parents, who have belonged to the Movement since their youth. To tell the truth, I never felt the need to join CL and thus get closer to this way of being together, because I always found in other places and companionships the occasion to reflect upon my reality. I might add that I often judged CL as being something too far from me, too artificial, too connected with an idea of companionship that is welcoming but yet exclusive. What I learned during these months is that the companionship is indeed always a necessary gift. Therefore, reading Fr. Giussani’s words together has not been a sterile adhesion to a religious organization, but the experience of being together with people with whom I can share doubts and uncertainties, while I learn to look at life and reality in an effective way. My work at CDS encourages me to truly be one with the others, and calls me to take upon myself a responsibility that is indeed a common one, because it is part of each one of us.
Anonymous |