La Thuile

An Adventure
for Oneself
The C.L. International Assembly of Responsibles, held August 19–23, gathered 450 participants from 70 countries. Traces offers a diary of four intense days, rich in encounters and testimonies, starting from a benevolent gaze upon oneself

by Paola Bergamini

Next to the gigantic sign with the words “An Adventure for Oneself,” on the back wall of the Planibel building, a map marked with small blue dots showed the 70 countries where the Movement is present, homes to the 450 participants who had come to La Thuile “to obey what Christ is doing among us, to follow what moves in reality as signs of Him at work,” in the words of Fr. Carrón’s invitation letter to the participants of the International Assembly of Responsibles. On this first evening, as I looked around me, I saw faces of old friends who I only see on this occasion, others with whom I share daily life, and others unknown to me, all here because of the Fact that fascinated us, that made and makes our life full. I wrote those words in my notebook. These four days of late August were, above all, for me.

The need of the “I”
“Let’s begin by helping each other, supporting each other to be ourselves, asking the Spirit to come to our aid,” Carrón began, before we sang Come Holy Spirit. “An adventure for me, for each of us... The Lord, to help us understand what this means, as always, makes facts happen, such as the recent deaths of Andrea Aziani [see page 42], Fr. Danilo, Giovanna, and Alberto Ferrari,” began Fr. Carrón. “They were witnesses to the faith, because their gaze was fixed on Jesus. They lived this testimony before our eyes, so that we might see how it is possible to live the faith in this cultural and historical context of ours.” A gaze fixed on Jesus enables us to be men and women without a homeland, “who cannot be assimilated to this society,” but in order for this to happen concretely, faith must be a true satisfaction. “Faith is the acknowledgment of something so real, of a Presence that is so real, true because real, that it carries with it a satisfaction.” This requires the human, that is, affection for oneself, as Fr. Giussani said in Uomini senza patria [Men Without a Homeland],the text that accompanied us in the four days, that is, “the seriousness of the gaze upon our own needs.” Who can live this way? The poor in spirit, those who “have nothing, except one thing, through which and by which they are made: an endless aspiration, a boundless expectant awaiting.” This was the gaze of Fr. Giussani, “full of tenderness, full of an embrace of my human nature,” continued Carrón. How can this boundless need find an answer? “Only in the acknowledgment of Christ. Let’s pray for this openness.” Let’s not remain like stones, said Carrón, like the crowd that followed Him but lacked total involvement.
As we leave in silence, an expression of Bernanos came to mind, one Fr. Giussani had commented on during an Equipe: “The furthest reach of audacity is to humbly love oneself.” This is the affection for oneself, for our original needs, that Carrón asked for, that throws us wide open to reality. Amidst the crowd, I glimpse Lorenza, Alberto Ferrari’s wife. How can she be here, a few days after her husband’s death, if not because of a benevolent gaze that takes in everything, even pain?

The Castle in the Pyrenees…
Wednesday morning began with Morning Prayer, the Angelus, and song: “Il monologo di Giuda” [“Judas’ Monologue”], “Non sono sincera” [“I’m Not Sincere”], and “Romaria.” Then Carrón introduced the Assembly. “This gesture should be a help for us to stretch toward, to be wide open to what He has sparked in us in the encounter, the ultimate point of which is faith, that is, acknowledgment. In order for this to happen, we have to start out from experience. Let’s deal with the questions, the problems, everything, but starting out from experience.” There was no space for “discourses.” Immediately, a long line of people formed. Alberto said, “In July, I received a text message from a friend who had decided a few years before to leave the Movement. He asked to speak with me. When I called, he told me that recently, looking at his life, his family, and reality, he had begun to accept the fact that everything good, true, and great he’d had was given to him by the encounter with the Movement, and he asked if I were willing to renew our friendship. I felt like I’d been struck by lightning. I had closed the door after him; I had given up hope that anything could happen. We spoke often all that month. Then, with the news of Andrea’s death, he called me and said, ‘This death for me is a great question that I want to honor. We have to return to being humble and to following.’ This could only be the work of Christ.” Fr. Carrón explained, “What is the unmistakable feature of Christ? That He never closes the door after anyone. Christ takes the initiative toward each of us in unimaginable ways.” The witnesses followed one upon the other, at times as a dialogue with Julián. At issue was what we hold most dear. Luca said, “At a certain point, I realized I was like Magritte’s painting, The Castle in the Pyrenees,where you see a castle built upon the rock, but below, there’s nothing. In my life, there was missionary drive, virginity, the Movement, but everything was suspended in the void. I stopped at the greatness of the sign without ever formulating deep down the question, ‘Who are you?’ This question does not emerge easily. We get bogged down in the things to do.” The question is fundamental, and Carrón returned to it the next day. Giorgio said, “The theme of human need is the theme of my presence in the Movement. Recently, I’ve begun living deep down this need before the You, dialoging with the You. Years ago, I thought this was intimism…” Carrón followed up, “Why isn’t it intimism? Because the point of departure is a real fact!”
At noon, though the line of people was still long, Julián interrupted, saying, “We’ll see each other this afternoon.” I had lunch with the Russians, with my dear friend Pezzi, Archbishop of Moscow, acting as interpreter. We talked about life in Moscow and in Milan, and only got up from the table when the waiters practically took the tablecloth out from under us. At the bar, I met “Costola,” a student from Catholic University of Milan, who told me about the pilgrimage “in slippers” to Czestochowa. I saw him again the last day on stage for the roast and variety show. In the square in front of the hotel, people sat at tables joking, singing, discussing–in a multitude of languages, of course.
At 4:30 pm, the Assembly began again. Cristina said, “A few days before our last teachers meeting, the Principal asked me to read the reports that the newly hired teachers were required to file. In the evening, I began reading them, and was moved. Yes, I was moved by those passages in which the humanity of the writer emerged. Above all, I was struck that in my school, where impotence and failure are the last words, there could be people like this. At the end of the teachers meeting, the Principal asked me to speak about the reports. I began to read from the lines that had struck me. All my colleagues were dumbstruck. Not a peep from anyone. Suddenly, a breach had opened in that sterile and suffocating place. I stayed over an hour after the meeting, talking with my colleagues. I asked myself, ‘What makes me see certain things? Christ.’” Carrón followed up, “You see that Christ is there because of what you manage to see. Repetition of a discourse isn’t what enables this position, but an ‘I’ capable of looking this way.” Marco said, “In July, I was in Lièges for work with a team of people from Europe and the United States. I was struck by the way a young American researcher, Brenda, worked. I noted her particular attention to what happened and above all how she looked at people, and thought, ‘What beautiful humanity. She seems like one of us.’ A few days later, my friend Mauro called and asked, ‘Have you met Brenda? Did you know that a few months ago she began coming with us?’ There’s a way of treating things that marks precisely the humanity of Christ.” This is the witness: a feature of recognizable new humanity. The contributions continued until Mass. It was the flowering of experiences, of a life in action, which continued for me during dinner with the Americans and later, as I drank a coffee with Giovanna, and again, smoking a cigarette with Davide. A series of desired but unexpected encounters. Reality is always greater than our projects.

Rose, Cleuza, and others
In the evening, we saw the short film on Rose’s work with AIDS victims, directed by Emmanuel Exitu, which won an award at the most recent Cannes Film Festival. I jotted down a sentence from Rose: “The things to do are tiring, but it’s looking that makes us move, that moves our hearts.”
On Thursday morning, Carrón introduced Cleuza and Marcos Zerbini. “I asked our friends to testify to us about what struck them, because what I see in them is something unique that makes me tremble at the power of its simplicity.” They spoke about themselves, and of the most recent facts that have happened. I had first heard their story a few years ago (see Traces, Vol. 7, No. 6[June] 2005, pp. 24-25), but I was struck by the power, the attraction they aroused. Where did it come from? “The origin is an Other who enters into life, but a simple heart is needed to acknowledge Him,” Carrón intervened. At the end of their testimony, Julián focused on two critical points that emerged from the Assembly: the risk of a shift from faith as knowledge to ethics, and intimism, that is, remaining suspended. How should we face these two risks? “Faith as a journey of knowledge, as indicated to us by School of Community–starting out from reality, because the dynamic of faith is the same dynamic of reality,” since at its origin there is a Fact.
At lunch, half the group was Latin American and half….Kazakh! The afternoon was free for reviewing what surprisingly had emerged. It was a personal work that each of us did, alone or with friends. In the evening, we heard the testimonies of Andrea Franchi (Branco) on the charitable work of the Solidarity Banks, and Bernhard Scholz, a managerial and training consultant and the new President of the Companionship of Works, about his work. In introducing them, Giorgio Vittadini said they were “two people who in the encounter with the Movement had discovered their human need and gone deep down in pursuit” (see the insets on page 39) .
Friday was hiking day, and when Fr. Eugenio warned, “Everybody can do it, but don’t come in slippers!” some of those from abroad worked out borrowing sturdy shoes and heavy sweaters. We walked, ate together, and sang–the reality of such an attractive companionship takes everything in.
“What do we want in society?” This question was answered by Maurizio Lupi, Vice President of the Italian House of Deputies, and Javier Prades (see the inset on page 40) in the evening testimonies. “We can say, in particular in terms of politics, that you can never put truth to a vote, because if you lose, it’s still of value, and if you win, the truth needs freedom in order to be lived, and can’t be imposed,” concluded moderator Giancarlo Cesana.

The journey of knowledge
Saturday, the last day, after reciting the Angelus and praying Morning Prayer, we sang “Noi non sappiamo chi era”[“We Didn’t Know Who He Was”],the song Fr. Giussani loved to listen to in the last period of his life. Then Fr. Carrón began the lesson, saying that no matter what our situation was as we arrived here, “the first thing that happened is that we were immediately blown over by a gaze full of affection.” He reviewed the work done in these days: affection for self, the “I” as need, the answer to this exigency in reality (that is, an embrace/gaze that happens now as it did two thousand years ago), the witnesses of this event, and the freedom of the heart to accept. It is the journey of knowledge that flowers in faith.
At the end, we had the announcements, which, Julián explained, “aren’t something operative, but the sign of the life of the community, the extension of this gaze to the sphere of action.” I hold in my heart the gazes of Lorenza, Guido, Michele, Ramón, Davide, Alberto, Giovanna, and Rose (and of course the list goes on), who in these days simply made evident that, just like two thousand years ago, Christ saves our life, embracing it.