Letters

IT’s JUST A MATTER
OF METHOD
During the Easter retreat, Father Paulo told us that beauty wounds. While our instinctive reaction is usually to try to stop the pain, today I find myself grateful for it, because it is pain that has revealed what is going on in my life. And something is definitely happening. When I met the Movement, I wanted to shout to the whole world what I was experiencing and to share the wonder I had found. At the time, I thought that taking all that for granted would be impossible, but I wondered how it would apply to my life at school, where the majority of my friends flirt with the idea of death. I knew that trying to change them would be useless, because left to my own devices I didn’t have that kind of power; something more needed to happen. I felt so powerless in the face of all those problems! I set aside the idea of changing the world, and I started wearing a mask and pretending that I didn’t care, while deep inside I knew that it wasn’t true. Then one day on the bus, after one of the many discussions during which I tried to keep my distance, a friend of mine (who was also a very polemical atheist) said, “They spoke about many things, but nobody explained to me what faith is.” I immediately offered an answer according to what I had learned in School of Community. As I was looking into his eyes, I found that beauty Father Paulo was talking about. I didn’t get it right away, but those eyes looked just like my own when I was the one doing the asking. It was as if someone had punched me in the face; I really had been taking the Movement for granted, as well as my friends and my own life! I finally woke up and understood that I didn’t need to try to change my friends. I had to live with them, because each one of them has been given to me like a gift. For me, not for them. I need these crazy friends of mine, because their friendship re-awakens the questions that I carry within my own depths, so that my days have a new flavor. All in all, we understand by grace. I wasn’t the one that made my parents join the Movement; it happened on account of a grace that came about through me, without any planning on my part. For this reason, it is futile to worry about whether or not my friends will join CL, because the ultimate purpose of the Movement is to educate me to live my life profoundly, to take seriously everything in it, and to love my friends’ destiny. I can’t separate my daily life from the Movement. It’s something I have no control over. I believe that truly there is only one thing we are asked: to follow, to follow the method. The rest is Mystery.
Yasmine, Rio de Janeiro (Brazil)

bETWEEN THE BOOKSHELVES AT bARNES & nOBLE
Giacomo, 16 years old, sent the following letter to his friends.
Fifth Avenue. A soft drizzle falls over New York. I exit St. Patrick’s Cathedral and walk over to the Barnes & Noble bookstore. My goal is to get a copy of C.S. Lewis’ The Abolition of Man, a book Matt suggested. Lewis is well known and widely published here. I enter B&N, take the escalator to the lower floor, walk directly to the “Christianity” and “Christian Inspiration” shelves, and start perusing the books of Narnia’s author. I request a search for books by De Wohl (unfortunately, it looks like they don’t have any) and Giussani. Buried in the middle of other books there is a copy of The Journey to the Truth is an Experience. A Korean girl, wandering around the “Christianity” shelves like me, approaches me and, in tentative English, shyly asks me for help. I turn to look at her, still holding my book. She is looking for suggestions. Somewhat absent-mindedly, I tell her that Lewis is a good choice, but the other authors are pretty much unknown in Italy (where I am from) so besides the saints and Lewis, I don’t know what to suggest. We start talking and, from what I can understand, she belongs to a Protestant denomination in Korea. I let her know I’m a Catholic. Her name is Maggie. I keep looking at the Lewis books and she picks up one of them. I am a little distracted, but she keeps asking for advice, and I suddenly understand. Everything is clear. I grab the copy of Giussani’s book and I give it to her, while I explain to her about Communion and Liberation and the content of the book. “It’s about the encounter between Christ and the desire you have for happiness.” We start talking and she is visibly happy. After a while–I can’t believe what’s happening–I tell her that if she wants to know more about CL she can visit the website and look for contacts in Korea. She pulls out a receipt from her purse and jots down the web address. She is standing there, happy, with two books in her hands (the one by Giussani and a Lewis anthology), then we proceed to the cash register to pay. She asks me for my e-mail address and I review all the steps she has to take to find CL in Korea. “You, friend,” she tells me joyfully. I later received a message from her telling me that she was going to read the books, and that she likes Italian food and music. I sent her the e-mail address of the CL responsible in Korea (whom I will probably contact myself). As I was walking back home, I couldn’t stop smiling. Truly, a fragment of reality is worth more than a thousand words and, no matter how this story will end, I have the proof that Christianity is really a fact: no amount of calculation on my part could have me meet a Korean girl in a New York bookstore, so happy to go home with Giussani and Lewis. The rest, or better, everything, is His work.
Giacomo, New York (USA)

“Allah is great,
but so is your god”
Dear Father Julián: My current work environment is individualistic, like arid soil. I am a midwife, and I take care of mothers in the days immediately after the delivery, once they are released from the hospital. They are often confused, insecure, and awkward at managing their families as well as the newborn babies, with all their needs. A few days ago, as it often happens, I found myself face to face with a couple in distress. They were Maghrebi Arabs and they had a beautiful baby girl, Sara, who was crying–as she always does because she is hungry and her mother isn’t able to breastfeed her. The father, who usually insults his wife in public because of her difficulty with breastfeeding, acted impatiently and expected me to immediately solve the problem. My initial thought was, “This is yet another mess to take care of. Who can I share it with?” All of a sudden, I identified with them, and I asked myself, “Deep down, what’s the difference between what they desire and what I desire? How can they get to know that they are loved and that this experience is the evident proof of God’s esteem for them?” I looked at that woman, who didn’t even want to meet my gaze and be helped, and I asked her, “Are you afraid?” I caressed her cheek and, addressing her with dignity and firmness, I asked her to trust me. Her husband calmed down and we were finally able to relate to each other. At the same time, I asked Jesus to show Himself to us. I thought about what I had asked for that same morning during Morning Prayer and… I was moved to tears for my forgetfulness and His mercy. We spent two hours filled with discoveries, smiles, and expectations; then the woman took my hand to caress it and kiss it. At the end of our meeting, the husband thanked me and told me, “Allah is great, but so is your God.” I answered, “My Jesus is love, and He is here now.” I left work and, going back to Milan, I found myself in front of the Monumentale Cemetery. I decided to pay a visit to Father Giussani’s tomb to ask him to help us to take seriously the Christian proposal he made to us–as you reminded us at the Exercises. I can summarize this day with a quote from Father Giussani that can be found on page 22 of the Fraternity Exercises booklet: “…commitment in the human path is the condition for being ready when Christ offers us His encounter.”
Silvia, Milan (Italy)

friends met in jail
My name is Rosario, and I have been in jail for more than 18 years. I lived a wretched life, and I am guilty of horrible crimes. During the early nineties, I began to realize that  I had been living an empty and worthless existence. With the help of my family, I started to look for a way out, and despite many difficulties, a few years later I attained my goal. I started looking at life and even at my time in jail with different eyes. I became more serene. Yet, when we least expect it, life places us in front of sorrows that we can hardly metabolize. In 2005, my father died of cancer. This painful circumstance, along with the discovery that my mother too was ill with cancer, made me think a lot and drew me closer to Christ (this was an event in itself, since, despite coming from a Catholic family, I had always been superficial about faith). Without a doubt, the encounter and the relationship that has left a mark and has positively influenced my existence is the one I had with Vincenzo. He has helped me–through an itinerary of meditation and self-criticism–to get in touch with the real Rosario, and to direct me toward correct behavior and life’s values. He helped me realize that I had faith, which is extraordinary. Because of him, Christ has become part of my life, and I live a full and serene existence. I have a great strength that I didn’t know I had.  Vincenzo made my heart open up to others. Again, thanks to him, I became aware of the importance of this beautiful and extraordinary family that is the Movement of Communion and Liberation. Through Vincenzo, I had the pleasure and the honor to meet Professor Giorgio Vittadini.  I still carry in my heart the memory of the meeting that took place in the visitation room of the Biella jail with Vincenzo, Vittadini, Gigi Amicone, and Calcedonio (another inmate who is living the thrill of this encounter). That meeting has been without a doubt one of the most emotional of my whole life, because I was moved by such good and moral people paying attention to me. Listening to Professor Vittadini say, with disarming simplicity, that I was part of their group, filled my heart. For me, this was confirmation that Christ in His goodness chose me, despite my very serious sins.
Rosario, Opera (Italy)

THat PRESENCE
INSIDE THE CRISIS
Financial crisis began for me years ago when I found myself alone bringing up eight children. I had not worked outside of the home in 18 years.  Within the first year, the beautiful home went into foreclosure.  I was told that the children would not be able to attend the elementary school in our parish any longer since there was a waiting list of families that could pay.  Every day presented a new crisis–a roof over our heads, groceries, heating and electric bills, transportation, etc. We had nothing, yet we had everything.  We had our Faith.  Everyday, I prayed, “Jesus, I trust in You.” After four months with several organizations helping me look for a place that we could rent, we finally found a very generous man who agreed to rent a home to me on seven acres of land, with a pond and a river. Raising teenage boys alone was quite a challenge.  Good role models were imperative.  Christ became present in our lives through the Church.  He feeds us through the Sacraments, and through His presence in our priests and the community.  Many good men have stepped in to mentor my sons.  I mistakenly thought that everything that came before this was given either by my husband or that I had obtained it through my own talents.  I thought that my happiness depended on my husband and what we owned. I now know that I am kept in existence by Another.  My income will never be enough to provide for what we need.  My small cleaning business and a summer job at a day camp provide a very meager income.  My business has suffered during this current economic crisis.  I have lost customers due to the loss of their businesses.  I have looked unsuccessfully for a fulltime job for almost a year now.  In spite of all this, we have never been without a roof over our heads or food in our stomachs.  At this point in time, my daughter is a teacher in a school in Switzerland; two of my sons live on their own; five sons live at home; one is in college, one is working fulltime, one is in Catholic high school, and two are in middle school.  Someone said to me the other day, “I don’t know how you do it!”  The truth is, I don’t do it, Christ does it. He has never abandoned us.  He provides all that we need.  My hope lies in the memory of what Christ has already done in our life.  Each time I find myself in front of a new crisis, Christ asks me, “Do you trust Me even in this?”  As Fr. Peter Cameron says in Jesus Present Before Me: “Christ comes to us in the criticalness of our human condition, in the powerlessness of the circumstances and the crisis over which we have no control.” 
Liesse Lynch (USA)

I had not been to a CL Vacation in a long time. After listening to some of my friends talk about the beautiful experience they had last summer, I decided not to let the opportunity pass me by–not because I needed a break, but because I wanted to see the way the Mystery is present among us. It was a week rich with gifts, not only for the natural beauty around us and the companionship, but mostly for the witness of friends who live Father Giussani’s charism in their ordinary lives. I understood that listening and following is not enough. I now have to walk on my own and make their experience mine. I am almost eighty but I know that there is always the possibility to begin, like the laborers who were called last.
Marta, Rimini (Italy)

Discovering a Meaning that Corresponds
I am really glad I went on the CL vacation, even just for a day. I met a lot of wonderful people. The things about their way of life that were apparent to me, moved me. These included a passionate and honest pursuit of meaning, a willingness to talk about it, and their relationships with children. I guess I haven’t been around young children much in a long time (ever since my siblings were small), so I have forgotten what they are like, and even that it’s possible to have relationships with them. I particularly enjoyed talking to Annette on the hike, and seeing her son be excited about “I”[this is what he–a 2 year old–calls music]. And with regard to meaning, it’s rare to find people who even acknowledge or understand that there is such a thing (it took me a while to realize what is even meant by it, and even now it has a very specific meaning to me), and then that they would be so open about it. But in this place many people I talked to had both these attributes. So even though there are some things I don’t  understand,  the passion and openness really spoke to me.
Tatjana, Pasadena (USA)

PUTTING SCHEMES
AND PLANS ASIDE
I just finished high school and I went on my first pilgrimage to Czestochowa. Needless to say, it wasn’t at all as I had imagined it. It was much more. When I left, I was mostly concerned about careful planning: would I have everything I needed? In order to survive I needed to have everything under control. Then, we started to walk, and a series of objections came to the fore (the hardship of walking, the difficulty of living together…). While at the beginning these were distractions, as we walked on they became an integral part of the path. Following Father Barbero’s recommendations, the Book of Hours, and School of Community, I started offering everything, as much as I was able to, starting with my own limitations. Something changed: the hardship and the difficulties were still there but, far from being obstacles, they helped me be faithful in my prayers. I think that the heart of the matter is knowing what or whom you are following. It’s easier to walk and grow when you are not alone and this, for me,  is a revolutionary discovery (I had always wanted to do everything on my own!). Being in the choir, singing, joking… everything was the ever-changing form of the companionship that Christ constantly offered me. Now, I’m back to my usual life, and nothing seems to compare to what I lived. I feel I carry a great wealth inside, and for the first time I want to relate everything about what I have done, how I felt; about the people I met…nothing can be like before anymore. I have seen how it is possible to live in a new way, and I don’t want to settle for anything less. But how long will I be able to remember? When will the distraction that always surrounds me make me forget what happened? On August 15th, my brother Pietro was born. Since I have been back, the gift of his existence is the first sign that I am not left alone. I wonder what is asked of me now that I don’t have in front of me the people who have helped me; who should I look at? I have to ask to learn to look. I have to ask not to take anything for granted, and to be able to recognize Him, because what made this pilgrimage great was His unmistakable presence.
Chiara, Pesaro (Italy)