letters

LETTERS

Testimonies truly
walk amongst Us
I just got word that Marcos was elected as State Deputy today. He ran on one of the smallest campaign budgets in São Paolo history. Cleuza says the only reason he campaigns is to meet people and to tell them about Christ. Four years ago, I would have thought that was sentimental. Because of knowing Marcos, I understand better now. What continually surprises me is that what we have to offer is truly different, so different and so attractive that even our politics don’t look the same... they can’t help but be something more. My friend João is very close to Cleuza and Marcos, and he told me that tomorrow they are all headed to Aparecida with Fr. Aldo on a pilgrimage of thanksgiving. They know Who is at the center of their lives and the purpose of their politics. They place all of their hope in Him, without a second guess, and it is only right that they would give thanks. And when they do it they are certain that it was Christ who gave them this victory. It’s not just an afterthought; it’s the substance. Everything they do has to do with Him, and it shows. No wonder they are so close with Fr. Aldo and no wonder he would be there with them. They know the same thing, and it has to be shared. Like when Mary went to see Elizabeth. This brings also to mind John Zucchi and the way they are fighting the “right to die campaign” in Quebec, and the school the Movement has in Bogotá founded by Fr. Carlo, and that new film about Enzo Piccinini. The testimonies truly walk amongst us in the Movement and you can’t help but want to stay close to their experience and to follow it, to really want it for yourself. I realized talking to João that being with these people is a necessity for us, because it is through them that we can begin to understand what it truly means to love and to be loved by Him. We can’t love and reach sanctity if we haven’t touched love and experienced it ourselves first.
Timothy, Medellín (Colombia)

finally free
After 20 years
Dearest Juliàn: I have a brother who is one year younger than I am. He was born mentally retarded. We grew up together, and I would give my life for him. Because of his condition, I have always felt a thirst for justice that exploded in this cry: Why does my brother have to be this way? Why do I have the ability to do certain things, and he doesn’t? I spent years defending him from people who treated him badly, although often I was the one to react violently to his behavior. I have never been able to look at the depth of this wound, and I understand that for this reason I have never been able to really stay in front of him and to look at him with a gaze of profound affection. Yet, this year, something happened that uprooted our situation. He started working, and he had to go to a neuropsychiatrist to acknowledge his deficiency and sign a paper that would protect his interests at his workplace. He had to be the one to say, “I am limited.” This fact was very painful for me. When my mother informed me about the new development, thus forcing me to confront the issue once again, I immediately asked myself, “Does my dignity coincide with what I am capable of doing?” No! I am not just what I am capable of doing. My life, its dignity, its joy, its glory coincides with Christ’s embrace of my person through the Movement–in these past years as never before. The proof of this is that, as I was thinking of all these things, Father Ambrogio’s face, as well as that of Feo and other friends, came to mind. The love I am given is disproportionate to my wretchedness; the more I look at myself for what I am, the more I become aware of it. I immediately said to myself: “This applies to my brother, too! Why should I change the criteria? If it’s true for me, it has to be true for him as well.” I suddenly felt free, unburdened of a load that  nonetheless I wasn’t disregarding. What impressed me the most was how immediate all this was. No reasoning to cover up a complaint; no sense of suffocation or anger; just freedom in looking at everything that was happening, right when it was happening! This is the sign that this is not something I am giving to myself, or a line of reasoning; it is flesh, it is inside of me. It originates from a different way to look at my brother in his entirety, without silencing that need for justice that still remains in my life. On the other hand, I truly stay in front of that cry and I ask myself: “Who can give a satisfactory answer?” Through this event, I was able to understand a little more of the flyer, “Let Us Return, Wounded, to Christ,” particularly its affirmation: “Without the possibility of something beyond, of an answer that lies beyond the existential modalities that we can experience, justice is impossible… If the hypothesis of a ‘beyond’ were eliminated, that demand would be unnaturally suffocated.” How could I bring justice to my brother’s situation without letting this “beyond” in? Twenty years of attempts did not achieve anything. What worked wasn’t a way of reasoning, but the overturning of the way I conceived of my nature as a human being. The decisive point is our availability to being the object of a thoroughly undeserved loving gaze on our life; this love is concrete and able to radically change the way I look at and judge my own “I,” the world, and my brother. What awe overwhelms me looking at Christ at work in my life! What gratitude floods my heart! I feel I have found the secret of life. Dinner with my family tonight has been fantastic already. I found a new breath; after 20 years of struggle, a new breath in the way I look at my brother.
Name withheld

WAITING four
hours IN THE RAIN
Dear Father Carrón: Because of my husband Giacomo’s doctoral studies, my family and I have been living in England for the past two months, and we will stay here a few more. We immediately signed up to go meet the Pope at the Mass for the beatification of Cardinal Newman. The fact that, at that point in time, we had a 10-month-old baby, and a second baby on the way, wasn’t a serious objection to trusting the proposal. We left on Saturday night. After two hours in the car and a bus trip, at 6 am we arrived at the field where Mass would take place. We then waited four hours under a relentless drizzle, becoming cold and wet. I took my husband aside and, overcome with fatigue, I asked him,  “Do you know why we came here? What were we thinking?!” Not that the reasons of our initial consent were less true; yet, in that precise moment, at 6 am, under duress, they didn’t mean anything to me. I kept going through those reasons in my head, thinking back to all those hard circumstances in the past that later on turned out to be great opportunities. I said to myself, “Hold on. You’ll see that this time, it will be the same.” Yet, I grew more and more disheartened, and I spent those four hours holding my breath. Then the miracle of my change happened. Around 10 am, the Pope appeared and, when I saw that man, everything changed; in front of a person, everything changed. I felt I was one with the Apostles in front of Jesus. I had spent four hours trying to think positive and to be happy, without success, and in an instant the gaze of that man had changed me, to the point that I started looking around and asking for help from those who were next to me. Those same people, who before were just another nuisance, became a blessing and my own struggle became a blessing too. What filled me with joy was that my fatigue was still all there, but it finally had a meaning.
Tecla, Southampton (England)

A WEDDING AND THE
DICOVERY OF CHRIST’S GIFT
After being back in Colorado for less than a day, I have already seen the fruits of the trip from which I just returned.This past weekend, I attended the wedding of a dear friend of mine in the Movement. I traveled to Minnesota for a long weekend, and spent the whole time in the tiny town of Crosby. It was so evident that Christ brought together this group of people from all around the world to show His love for us. I spent the weekend surrounded by old and new friends who didn’t just want to know about me at the surface, like where I’m living or what classes I’m taking, but went deeper and asked about the desires of my heart. There I had also the opportunity to attend the School of Community. The lesson we covered spoke of openness and not bringing our own prejudices and expectations to reality, but recognizing the need in our heart for truth, beauty, love, and justice. One witness recounted a situation where he found himself so desperate to be with people that he loved but couldn’t be with, that he had no choice but to beg to see Christ in his other obligations because if He wasn’t there, why bother? There is no purpose in living if Christ is only found where we expect Him to be. This witness has given me the answer to the question that was tugging at my heart all weekend: “How can I return to Colorado, to work, classes, studying for my comprehensive exams, and not lose sight of Christ?” My answer was there: I have to beg! This weekend tore open my heart and showed me more beauty and love than I have ever seen before, and it showed me how strongly I desire that for every moment of my life. But now that I have experienced it, I know that God would not give it to me just once. If he loves me enough to give this gift once, then He is not going to abandon me to take on the rest of life by myself. I know that things won’t get any easier, and I still need to spend every waking minute of this coming semester studying for my exams, but I know it is not meaningless. If God didn’t love me, and wasn’t waiting for me in each and every day, there would be no reason to get up in the morning. So now I go back to the often undesirable, imperfect reality as a graduate student with an immense yearning for the perfect love and beauty that I saw in Minnesota, knowing that it is here also, and all I need to do is open my eyes and let Christ surprise me.
Katie McCaffrey, Boulder (USA)

A Grace Called Carolina
Dearest Father Carrón: We are in Bogota completing the adoption procedure for a baby girl whom, after years of prayer and waiting, the Lord has given us. Carolina is really special; at birth she had serious problems, due to malnutrition, that she was able to overcome, even though she still carries on her flesh the marks of what she had to suffer. This gave her a tremendous ability to adapt to circumstances. Right now, in her way of looking at everything simply because it exists, and because an Other makes it happen, she is the one who is educating us. Every day, I come to the realization that without Him I could not do anything. It would be impossible to be patient, devoted, and to look at her keeping in mind the good destiny that embraces her every minute. Carolina is becoming a grace also for our friends in Cuneo (Piedmont, Italy) who are following our adventure from home. Every day, I receive e-mails about it, and I find myself thinking that all those years of waiting have generated this mysterious flower: the re-awakening of our slumbering consciences through the experience that “I am You who make me.” 
Simona, Stefano, and Carolina, Bogota (Colombia)

“First of All, Authentically human”
A53-year-old priest has been admitted repeatedly to the hospital department where I work. I was often impressed with him because, day or night, I found him holding the Book of Hours, and also because he was always able to establish simple and human relationships with his fellow patients. At a certain point, I intended to give him the article that Father Carron wrote for the end of the Year for Priests, “First of All, Authentically Human,” but I couldn’t muster the courage to do it. One day, as I was giving him some intravenous fluids, I told him, “I want to give you an article to read.” He asked, “What is it about?” I answered, “It was written on the occasion of the end of the Year for Priests by a Spanish priest, Father Carrón.” “Communion and Liberation?” “Yes.” “Do you belong to CL?” “Yes.” “I did not realize you did.” “How could you; I never told you.” “True! Yet I should have known, because it shows in the way you act. It explains the way you are.” The following day, I gave him the article. He read it by the end of that morning, and he told me that he had liked it very much, and that, in his opinion, it applied to women as well…I told him I agreed. He asked me why I had decided to give it to him. I replied, “It’s simply because of what I saw in you.” “Thank you! Pray the Lord to help me become more authentically human, and more authentically a priest.” Saturday at work I had a difficult day, and I did not stop by to say hello to him. Around 11 am, I was right outside his room and I waved to him. He addressed me: “You didn’t even come to say hello!” I replied, “Hello! I’m having a tough day!” He said, “I missed the companionship; I missed the Event!”  The Lord has really given me a gift!
Stefania, Italy

DISCOVERING TENDERNESS AND MEANING, AT 53
Dear Julián: I worked for many years as the principal of a pre-K school. Recently, I started experiencing frequent falls and a slight tremor. After a battery of tests, I was diagnosed with a neurological disease. At first, I was dejected; I had to leave my job, a place where I spent a lot of my energy, and where I was personally involved in communicating our experience. I was haunted by the thought of what would happen to me, and I ended up spending my days filled with sadness, lying on the sofa. One evening, my husband said, “Listen, you can decide to lie on the sofa, or you can accept the challenge that the Lord is giving you through this disease.” From that moment on, I decided to accept the challenge; I stopped crying and, at 53, I started looking at myself with that tender and caring gaze that I always had for “my” school kids and their families. Now I open my School of Community book every morning as soon as I wake up; it is the most important work of the day, and in the text I discover the possibility to live without having to repress my need for happiness. This way, I can easily recognize His presence, which fills with gladness and meaning every circumstance that I am given to live, from making the beds or fixing dinner, to being sick.
Nadia, Abbiategrasso (Italy)

A New Beginning for a New Year
The following is a  flyer prepared by CL Notre Dame students to share with their friends at the initiation of the academic year.
Arriving at the opening Mass for the year at Notre Dame University, everybody immersed in his or her thoughts about the new semester, we were struck by the life of Blessed André Bessette who will be canonized this month in October. As Fr. Jenkins brought to our attention, Blessed André was a very simple man who gave his entire life to Christ–a poor porter who simply opened the doors of his home, his heart, and his life to welcome people and to help them draw closer to the presence of Christ. But what more does this ask of us? The crucial implication of Blessed André’s life is that everyone’s destiny is to become a saint, which means nothing other than the complete fulfillment of our humanity. And this shakes the bedrock of our mentality. This is because the experience of the saints reveals to us that the answer to the ultimate human question lies not in what we do (we may simply open and close doors), but in the discovery of a reality that is more concrete than the visible one and that sustains it.
This reality is the answer to all the desires that a new beginning always carries with itself–happiness, fulfillment, success, the joy of new discoveries, etc. All the saints testify that with Christ we can say “You” to this mysterious reality. And this, in fact, is the reason why Notre Dame can be a family. Not simply because it is a tradition, but because the meaning of our life has become something–a someone–to whom we can say “You.” How can we stay together even in the face of human limitations, illness, and death? Not simply because this is ND, but because we have met the meaning of everything. Because of Christ, who, through the faces of our friends in the Church, says to us: your life, everything (everything!) has a positive meaning.
We want to write this brief note in order to start our year recognizing this gift, at the heart of which is a new provocation: “For me, to live is Christ.” Now we cannot open our books anymore without wishing that every line carries the possibility of meeting this Presence of Christ who is the real answer to what our hearts desire. We are friends who want to live everything, especially our university life, helping each other to recognize that “to live is Christ.” Everyone who has this desire is our friend.