LETTERS

LETTERS

"LIVING OFF" HIM
WITHIN REALITY
As I write, I am deeply moved and completely immersed in the all-encompassing experience of His mercy that I was recently given to live. Saturday at 6 pm we had the first lecture of a series–"The Infinite Series"–intended as a public proposal of the work on The Religious Sense that we have recently embarked on. None of us was fully aware of what was going on as we watched the 430 people who had responded to our invitation stream into the downtown Los Angeles venue where the event was held. The lecture included the viewing of "Startling Beauty: the Hubble Deep Field," a 3-D Imax documentary about recent discoveries attained through the Hubble telescope, and a contribution by the astrophysicist Massimo Robberto, who spoke of himself and his work with the Hubble project. It was a spectacular event; yet, the whole experience went beyond the beauty and the mysteriousness of everything that we saw and heard. Every minute spent preparing the lecture, as well as our efforts to extend invitations to friends (like the 120 people of St. Thomas Aquinas College, who drove more than two hours to attend), colleagues, and relatives; our fully committed presence at the event, and the dialogue that ensued, was nothing but us begging to meet Him, Who is filling our lives with Beauty. In the days that followed, the wound of this people, as well as my own, became ever more evident: a heart that is re-awakened in front of reality and of the Beauty and Truth that are communicated through our fragile humanity. When, at the dinner following the lecture, I asked my friends what had struck them the most, I was given a univocal, wonder-filled and precise answer: "The speaker, and the unity of life that transpired from the way he talked about himself, his work, and his pursuits." In that moment, I understood all the mercy and the tenderness of the Mystery. In fact, the fascinating beauty of the documentary would remain ultimately far and unreachable, if it didn't become one with someone or something I can meet–a humanity close to me, who lives, works, and hopes just like me, and yet is more than me. In the encounter with such a human presence life starts anew, and the heart meets the correspondence that, subconsciously, it has always waited for. What corresponds to my true nature, as well as my friends', is neither a discourse nor the next initiative; rather, it is living with them the fullness of the vocation to which God has called me; that is, living off Him within reality.
Guido, Los Angeles (USA)

THE TEST RESULTS AND
THE HEART'S DESIRE
Since the beginning of February, the test results that I need for my research have not been adding up. Nobody can come up with an explanation for it; not my professors in Italy nor the Lebanese ones. I start every morning waiting for a discovery, and I return home at night with a disappointing report. Surely, there is a certain amount of bad luck involved! I try to maintain an ironic attitude toward the whole thing, but it has not always been this way. The first time I saw a printout of the results not showing what I was looking for, I was infuriated. I had worked hard and meticulously. I was on a tight schedule that was supposed to allow me some extra time during the last weeks of my stay here in Lebanon to take a tour of this beautiful country. Furthermore, I was not indifferent to the potentially useful applications of my research. Inexorably, my ideas about the future crumbled in front of the insurmountable wall of reality. I was embittered and unwilling to listen. One night, though, I decided to start fresh. Still struggling, I picked up an old text by Vittadini that I had found by chance in my apartment. I didn't know what it was about, yet I picked it up and read it. I did it because I knew with absolute certainty that I had met something that always allowed me to start anew. Even if I were lost in a storm that seemed to exist for the sole purpose of carrying me away, I knew there was a safe haven for me; a place where, in all these years, I have always been able to truly breathe and be completely myself. The struggle I had to go through to fight my pride and admit that I was not able to achieve happiness on my own was not enough to silence my heart crying out: "You want more than this sadness." Therefore, after taking a deep breath, I looked at myself and asked myself what the reason was for so much sadness. Would I have been happy if my research showed the results I wanted? I immediately came to the conclusion that no test result would be enough to make me happy, because I indeed desired something that was even greater than the great blue sea that I had in front of me. I was forced to come to terms with the realization that for days I had spent my time at work without begging Christ to come to me; never denying Him, and yet keeping Him on a parallel track. Then, as soon as something unforeseen didn't fit into my design, everything would fall to pieces, thus showing the lie I was relying on–in this case, a beautiful dissertation. I had built a castle made of projects and plans, without worrying about the foundations. Through the help of my friend Dado I realized that there was a truer way to live. We need our friends indeed! I began saying the Angelus in the morning, evening prayer at night, and during the day, when I caught myself being distracted, I prayed to become more and more His friend. I always tried to seriously judge everything in my daily life, comparing everything to my truest needs (love, justice, truth, happiness). This way, things started speaking of Him again. My heart, always waiting and always crying out, "I want more," is the first sign of His companionship. Thus, reality is once again my ally, because it whispers His name. He never fails to show up and every moment is a new beginning, as long as I am loyal to myself.
Name withheld,
Beirut (Lebanon)

TEN MINUTES OF STRUGGLE BETWEEN THE I AND THE YOU
Iam at the end of my time in Chiapas, Mexico, where I was part of a small medical mission with the Minnesota Doctors for People (MDP). We traveled to remote mountain villages and set up clinics to serve whoever came to us in need, from infants to 90-year-olds. We ministered to 469 patients (a record for the MDP!) over a ten-day period. There is one detail of the work in particular that struck me. Working as an interpreter, there would always come a time during each consult when the patient and the interpreter waited for the doctor to return from the pharmacy with the necessary medicines. I have to admit, this was one of the most challenging parts of the clinic for me. While the rest of the day was often a blur and the actual consult required a great deal of concentration, these moments with the patient were a time to stand still. First, we would exchange shy smiles, then there was an awkward silence, and finally, slowly, the conversation started. I came to understand that the tension present right then was definitive. It was the battle between that within us which keeps us selfish and inward-looking and that nature in us that, as Giussani notes, "requires us to be interested in others." There were times when I was painfully overwhelmed by the difference between what is "normal" for me and what is "normal" for the person sitting across from me. Then there were other times, grace-filled times, such as when I understood that an 80-year-old man sitting across from me, who has cataracts and lives in a remote village in Chiapas, has the exact same fundamental needs I do and desires happiness as much as I do. In other words, I understood that we were more similar than circumstance and appearance would fool us into believing. It takes a simple and courageous heart to leap across the "us and them" divide, but, ultimately, I have learned, taking that leap corresponds to me so much more than standing safely still. My prayer is that this work be an education for my life so that now, back home, I can gaze upon my husband, my friends, my boss–those I encounter on a daily basis–with this same tenderness.
Stephanie Stokman,
Minneapolis (USA)

"HE HAS PUT US ON
THE SAME PATH"
We publish here a letter that an inmate wrote to his fiancée.
My darling: Find strength in the Word of the Lord; look for Jesus in those who are near you, and live this wonderful life. Like our good Lord Jesus, I am near you, too. Every night, I entrust you to Our Lady, praying for your good and more. Don't let anything distract you; put Him at the center of your every action or thought. Everything depends on Him; everything is made through Him, and in Him everything is possible. Surrender totally to Him, like I do. When you are disheartened, before starting to ask, surrender to Him, pray to Him for what you are about to do. He will not leave you without a sign of His presence. He loves us more than we love ourselves.... As it is with me and with our relationship, don't let yourself be carried away by your emotions; be rational and abandon yourself wholly. I love you a lot, but letting ourselves be carried away by our feelings is not for us. What we feel is right, but we can't let it drown out what led us to the encounter; it can't dim His light, and make us look away from Him. What we are going through is hard. It will be hard for both of us, but with patience, faith, and complete abandonment to Him, everything will come to be. Obviously, I would like to be near you, keeping you company concretely day by day; yet, being close to you while 200 miles apart, seeing you every sixty days, is the best set of circumstances to help us live our relationship in complete purity and truth. This is what the Lord has decided for us; I don't think He is wrong, and I don't think He is playing with us. There has to be a reason why He has put us on the same path, albeit a rough one. I just live welcoming what He has planned for me.
Filippo, Italy

Moments that Will Never Die
Dear Father Carrón: Three years ago, I met the Movement, thanks to an invitation from a group of friends who help each other live life. I have belonged to our companionship since, and it has been a crescendo: from the Wednesday meetings with you, to the young workers Spiritual Exercises; from Beginning Day, to all the other manifestations of the increased presence of the companionship in my life. A few weeks ago, I lost my sister-in-law, a 46-year-old mother of three. When that happened, I fully felt the significance of something you said: "The impact of the 'I' with reality unleashes the human question. …What is the ultimate meaning of existence? Why is there pain and death? Deep down, why is life worth living?" (Traces, Vol. 13, No. 2 (2011), Page One, II). In that precise moment, I was face to face with Christ, and I asked, "Who are You, Christ? Should I erase everything I have experienced just because of the pain that weighs down my heart right now?" Christ is eternally present in my relationship with Him, Who lives through this charism to which I want to adhere with my whole being, or better, which attracts everything in me. This charism makes me say that life is always worth living, even in circumstances like the one I am facing now, because these moments will never die; because this Companionship will never decay. This, for me, is Christ in action.
Antonella, Verona (Italy)

"WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO FALL IN LOVE?"
Dear Julián: My son is about to turn sixteen. He is the kind of guy who attacks life head on, getting intensely involved in it. Now he has a girlfriend, and every day he comes up with an endless series of questions; his days are a rollercoaster ride with highs and lows, ranging from the inconsistency typical of a kid his age, to his own personal depth. A few nights ago he bombarded me with the usual plethora of questions (What does it mean to fall in love? Why can't we be together all the time? etc…) to which I couldn't give adequate answers. At a certain point, I picked up the School of Community book, and I told him, "Read the chapter about virginity." Fifteen minutes later, he yelled, "It's amazing!" I asked him, "Did you like it?" He answered, "Of course I did! I was told more by Father Giussani, who is dead, than by you, who are alive." His statement struck me. At first I smiled, thinking: "What a son I have!"–being, at the same time, slightly bothered by my own inadequacy. The following day, I was able to articulate a clear judgment: "Starting last night, my son and I have the same teacher, Father Giussani. We can follow the same great friend." That night, we both went to The Religious Sense presentation, and when we arrived at home my son told me that he was impressed and happy about it. Our journey continues on.
Walter, Italy

MY COLLEAGUES' PROVOCATIONS AND THE RE-AWAKENING OF MY HUMANITY
Dear Julián: I have been working on my dissertation since last October, in a lab where I am the only Christian, and I am constantly teased by my colleagues. Lately, this circumstance is facilitating the re-awakening of my humanity. I started being the protagonist of the reality I live. Even if I don't respond to my colleagues' provocations, I am nonetheless urged to look for the reasons for my belief and my actions. I have even become interested in politics; I listen to what is said and I try to come up with a judgment on what I have heard, while before I would wait for somebody else to do that, adding just my assent, or lack thereof, as an afterthought. We always run the risk of letting somebody else answer in our stead, and up to now I was doing just that. I have let the Movement come up with answers to the questions that I indeed felt, promptly silencing them with a ready-made judgment borrowed from somebody else. Now this is no longer enough for me.
Laura, Milan (Italy)

"OUR TOWN AND OUR HOME"
Dear Julián: We are two young Italian families who moved to England (to the Liverpool area) because of work. We arrived in a land we didn't know, and we started new jobs, and we found ourselves often clashing with a totally foreign culture. This phenomenon ended up generating constant hostility and persistent complaining. The result was isolation, and the tendency to avoid problems, or the people who might create them. This detachment from reality–which led us to be alienated spectators rather than the protagonists of our lives–almost reached a point of no return. After a few months, we met and the community grew from five to ten people. We were greatly struck by this sign of an unexpected tenderness toward us. Faced with a given reality, we started abandoning ourselves to Him. If He had called us to live in this precise place and time, we had to involve our whole humanity in this reality. For this reason, the new home and town in which we live now are not just a home, and a town, but our home and our town. We opened our eyes and discovered this place to be far more beautiful than we thought. Following Giovanna's initiative, we learned a few–very beautiful–traditional songs. Later, we were given another unexpected sign: we discovered that the parish that houses the relics of the Blessed Domenico Barberi was just a few miles from us. He was an Italian priest who lived a simple and yet extraordinary life, marked by unyielding faith and unrelenting patience, and above all by infinite love for the British people. Domenico worked diligently for the Church's unity–which he didn't view as an abstract or ideological concept. We are certainly far from Blessed Domenico's kind of life and understanding; yet, in our small way, we too have seen the birth of a surprising unity, which goes beyond our laziness and the miles that separate us, or the languages and traditions we come from. This unity, which is not our own, changes us and opens up our hearts. Because of it, we began charitable work alongside an English family, asking that every moment and every face that this land gives us can really become the occasion for a dialogue with God.
Luca, Margherita, Luca, Giovanna,
Liverpool (Great Britain)