LETTERS

A CONTINUAL DISCOVERY OF ANOTHER WHO ACTS IN LIFE
Dear Fr. Julián: Last weekend, we traveled to northern England for the UK CL Fraternity Exercises of university students and staff, which this year were proposed jointly between the Movement and the chaplaincy of the University of Glasgow. The weekend was full of many signs that something different was happening among us: the silence after the lesson, which continued long after the 30 minutes that had been proposed; the evidence of a unity between us and a depth of friendship with people I have met very few times in my life; the simplicity of many friends, old and new, who desire to live the life in the university in a different way; the friends who came to cook for us, driving many hours from London to arrive in the early morning, yet with an evident gladness in their "yes" to a proposal. Then, on Saturday evening, there was the witness of Fr. Christopher. Speaking about his terminal illness, he told us that death is "a new beginning into a new and exciting reality in the presence of Jesus." In front of all these signs and many more, the question burned in me, "Who are You who is acting here? Who are You who moves my friends in this way and moves me?" And, from this, I felt all the drama of that answer that came to me, which was at the heart of the Exercises: "Who do you say that I am?" This is the question that I cannot hide from and in front of which I have to give an answer. Returning this week to my work in the university, a week that was more intense than normal, the desire to answer this question remained in front of everything I had to live. Staying in front of my work looking for that same You that I had seen during the weekend, trying to discover who He is, gave me an energy and intensity in work that before I would not have thought possible. And the awareness of this makes even more dramatic the question, "Who do you say that I am?" I realize I cannot answer this question by simply repeating a name I already know. Rather, the answer lies in the continual discovery, day by day, of Another who acts in my life.
Amos Lawless, London
(Great Britain)

THE INVISIBLE
FOUNDATION OF MY LIFE
During this past year, I have felt overwhelmed by my circumstances like never before. My only response was to just stay in front of what was happening, without the possibility to choose or evaluate what was in front of me. Things kept changing, demanding me to be constantly present with the kind of availability that goes beyond a pure emotional or instinctive reaction. Nineteen years ago, my wife and I thought we had positively "saved" a life when we adopted a seven-month-old baby. For the past six years, that decision has been the source of a great struggle. This year, our daughter gave birth to twins, and she still feels the need to defy everything and everyone. My wife and I had a different idea of what being grandparents would be like, yet, at 53, we found ourselves taking care of one of the two babies, while Juvenile Court decided on the future of both our grandchildren. Many times, I said to myself: "Enough! I'm done!" but invariably something or somebody–an event or a phone call–appeared on the horizon to accompany us in a persuasive way and, without our realizing it, the drama of the moment would vanish, allowing us to start walking again. Throughout the years, we have dealt with every imaginable ordeal, yet we did not give up our relationship with reality and, in spite of the fact that our circumstances seemed to daily undermine our hope, our hearts have always been at peace. Our life is now as dramatic as ever, but everything is supported by an imperceptible structure, a sort of invisible support that holds up our fragile home. We are always prepared for the worst, and we never crumble. This year, I have not been able to go to any of the events that I intended to attend (I even missed Sunday Mass a couple of times), but I have been able to faithfully keep up daily morning prayer, the Rosary, and the Memorare–one of the most beautiful and consoling prayers of the Christian tradition. We live every day with the hope of constant accompaniment on this path, and we try to give meaning to the sacrifice that we have been asked to make. I pray for the unity of my family and for our conversion. Every morning, I make the effort to say, "If it's possible, lighten my burden; but may Your will be done. Give us peace." I thank God who, while allowing this great sacrifice, has always given us all the help we needed to keep walking. It's up to us to look at Him with trust, so that one day He will tell us, "You have been faithful in the small things; now I'll give you the great things I have promised to you."
Marco, Italy

A REQUEST ABLE TO MOVE
THE TEACHER'S HEART
This year, we got a new philosophy teacher at our high school, who proved to be good from the get-go–always available and with an interesting teaching style. As time went by, though, his atheist and anticlerical persuasion became more and more evident. He would always come up with remarks against the Church or Christianity, and even the philosophers that he included in the curriculum were selected according to his ideological orientation. Initially, I didn't pay much attention to it, but when it became a habit of his, I started to get quite annoyed. I felt increasingly uneasy, but that only made me more incapable of responding to his accusations. Furthermore, my knowledge of philosophy was certainly not sufficient to challenge the professor's views. After discussing the situation with my GS youth group responsible, I decided to seriously stand up to the challenge and to quit running. The following day, I went to my professor and I asked him to teach us about philosophers with different points of view, like for example Blaise Pascal. He told me that he didn't think Pascal was pertinent to our curriculum, and he left, a bit upset. The following day, I feared the worst, but the professor took me by surprise when he said, "Well, kids, today we will go back a couple of centuries to talk about a philosopher I have never mentioned, but who might be relevant. His name is Blaise Pascal." I couldn't believe my ears! My awe was further increased by the interest shown by my classmates; they asked several questions and kept intervening in the discussion. At the end of class, I went to thank the professor, and I told him that I never expected that he would actually consider my request. He answered, "Look, I talked about Pascal for two reasons: first, I don't want to pass for an embittered man who unleashes his anger on Christians; second, when you came up to me with that request, something in me moved…"
Elisa, Italy

THE MYSTERY BURSTS INTO THE BANAL CIRCUMSTANCES
Dear Fr. Carrón: I am a wife and mother. There are six people living in our house. Every day I find toothpaste spit splattered on the bathroom mirror, the counter, the faucet, and in the sink. I asked and even demanded that the family be mindful of this and clean up after themselves, but every day it is the same. I found myself becoming more disgusted and angry. To paraphrase you, this circumstance was suffocating; it became a cage. I knew that this was not how I wanted to live in front of this moment every day, but I was unable to change it. I tried to convince myself that if I were a good wife, mother, and sister this would not bother me. I tried to change my attitude by thinking that Mother Teresa wouldn't have been angry or complained about cleaning up toothpaste spit. These thoughts had no effect except for maybe a temporary change of attitude or a feeling of guilt when I was still bothered by the circumstance. One day, I asked myself, "What does this moment have to do with me? Does Christ actually mean something to me?" It was like I was shaken awake. Reality opened wide. The Mystery had bent down to me, was there with me; I was captivated by His unmistakable real presence. To paraphrase you again, this banal circumstance was exalted, spoke, and was interesting to live. In that moment, things that I had read or heard about in School of Community became my own experience. I was convinced. Since this time, I find that I am more attentive and looking for His presence in the circumstances of my life. I still spend too much time asleep, reactive, on autopilot, but I recognize Christ bursting into more of my life's moments. This happens at least one moment of every day, when I am cleaning up the toothpaste spit.
Elizabeth, Boston (USA)

CECIL'S BAPTISM:
A SPECTACLE TO BEHOLD
Cecil is an 18-year-old girl from the Ivory Coast, who moved to Italy with her father two years ago. When she started attending the school where I teach, she joined the GS youth group. In time, she formed strong bonds of friendship with many of the kids and with some of our teachers, who helped her with her studies. She also kept asking me to teach her catechism and, after a while, I realized that she really wished to be baptized. I spoke with my pastor, and we decided that I would be her CCD teacher, while she would keep attending GS meetings. Her Baptism was scheduled for March 6, 2011. The carefully planned ceremony included two newborns, two girls of 10 and 11 years of age, and Cecil. Her GS friends, with the help of a few grown-ups, prepared a choir piece as a Communion hymn, and an African traditional song as the closing hymn. The parish choir decided to take part in the celebration, making sure to choose songs that the community would know. Being called together because of Cecil's desire to receive Baptism, we had the opportunity to experience first-hand the unity of the Church, and the contemporaneity of Christ (something about which we sometimes have just a theoretical notion). Our unity, which took a tangible form in the party that followed–with both Italian and African food–was truly a sight to behold. Some of our friends, who did not know Cecil at all, came just to witness that event and the way the Lord had taken hold of our lives.
Rossana and Simona, Italy

A Weekend Alone
Ihave been in England for the past six months, working on my dissertation. Last Friday, leaving the lab, I felt a sort of anguish because I did not have plans for the weekend, and all my friends and housemates had gone home for Easter. All of a sudden, I thought about the considerable amount of energy I had spent, in the previous days, trying to find somebody to keep me company. I asked myself: "Why do I need somebody with me? What do I lack? Why am I unable to stay by myself?" I remembered that Maria Teresa Landi, quoting Father Giussani, said that Being, ultimately, is a relationship. I immediately recalled all those relationships without which I would not be here now; without which I would not have encountered Christ. At home, I found an e-mail from a friend of mine, which ended with the question: "What is this lack a lack of?" My weekend plans did not change, and the amount of work that needed to be done remained the same; yet, notwithstanding my tiredness, I suddenly felt I could breathe again.
Margherita, Birmingham (Great Britain)

NO VICTORY, BUT ONLY PRAYER
I am sad that bin Laden died on the day Pope John Paul II was beatified. I feel the world turning its back on Christ and the Wonder of what we witnessed today. I realized that I had forgotten about the Pope and was sucked into this frenzy. When listening to Obama's address, I was asking myself, "Am I a citizen first or a Christian? What's the value of life?" I can't rejoice in the killing of bin Laden even if he has killed thousands. What the Church proposes for our lives is much bigger than this man and all his sins–let us not make this the center of our lives this week. This is not a victory; this is a step backwards for humanity. I just wanted to ask that we help each other through prayer to stay in front of the Proposal for our lives and allow that to be our reality and our position in front of this, not the latest coverage. I would like for us to keep in our hearts what transpired between heaven and earth today.
Maika Ngong, Washington, DC (USA)

A DAILY DESIRE FOR HOLINESS
Dearest Father Carrón: Thank you for keeping me company and for helping me live to the fullest these past few days of great joy for the entire Church. I have two small children, so I was unable to participate in the Fraternity Exercises and the beatification ceremony in Rome. The unity I experienced with my husband, with my friends, and with you allowed me to still partake in that gesture–one that was imbued with gratitude for what the Spirit has generated by giving us John Paul II, as well as Father Giussani. I don't know where I'd be without them. This morning, I face the menial tasks of my daily life, filled with the desire to be holy, that is, to be attached to Christ and to the Movement. I have never felt you like a father and a companion on the road as much as in these past few days.
Lucia, Italy

THE FRATERNITY EXERCISES AND ST. PETER'S SQUARE
Dearest Father Julián: Let me thank you for the event of the CL Fraternity Exercises, and most of all for being a loving father to us and for the way you help us raise our gaze and look at He Who has mercy on our nothingness. I was particularly struck by your remarks on our structural disproportion, which you introduced quoting, among other things, Giorgio Vittadini's witness to the Memores Domini. You said that our perception of such disproportion is increased in our relationship with the contemporaneity of Christ. I felt your description fit me to a T. More than ever before, every morning when I wake up, I literally hunger and thirst for Christ, and throughout my day I ask to be allowed to taste His presence, without which everything gives rise to a sense of emptiness. My participation in the ceremony of beatification of John Paul II in St. Peter's Square was another expression of that very thirst (otherwise, I would have been content with watching it on TV). Albeit very demanding, that event was a moving and magnificent one. That man, with Father Giussani, has been a guiding light and a father throughout my journey of faith, which began with my encounter with the Movement, shortly after his election to the See of Peter.
Alberto, Italy