Washington, DC

That compelling presence
behind a vase of flowers
On January 17th,  Fr. Julián Carrón, at the invitation of CUA President John Garvey, met with 300 local college students and seminarians to address the topic: “Can Modern Man Believe in the Divinity of Christ?”

It is not enough for us to rely on our own efforts. It is not sufficient for us to depend on the strength of our will, because we can never hope to overcome the infinite lack that we are. Our attempt to answer this endless need for ourselves is how we try to gain control of our life, yet it can only cover this need temporarily. Instead, we rely on something outside of us to impact upon us and push us. Fr. Carrón, in his visit to the Catholic University of America in DC, referenced David Foster Wallace’s point that the job we are here to learn is how to live in a way that we are not terrified all the time: “The face I put on the terror is the dominant realization that nothing is enough,” says Wallace. But Carrón went on to stress that “Christianity is easy.” We simply receive the gift of reality that is in front of us. Yet even that falls short unless we acknowledge the Giver of these incredible gifts. We can look to the Apostles who were instantly changed by Christ’s compelling presence, like children with eyes wide open; they knew they had met an exceptional Person beyond compare. When the old things pass away, it is a true revolution of newness brought by Christ. “How can man believe? He needs an experience like the Apostles.”
During a question and answer session, a catechist from the DC area, struck by the attractiveness of Fr. Carrón’s proposal, asked what he should do to interest his students. In other words, how can we show to others the beauty and the simplicity of our life in Christ? How can we attract them like Fr. Carrón attracts us? Yet even this concern of ours is an attempt to control what happens and to put a simple answer on an infinite question. Instead, Carrón proposed that the first step is to fix our own gaze on the ultimate source of our wonder. As in the example given by Fr. Giussani, it is nonsensical to focus only on a vase of flowers without wondering who they are from.
Some of us had just returned from the New York Encounter, where we saw ourselves change and come alive with joy and awe at the sheer beauty of reality. The art, the discussion, the music, and the dance opened us up and we were changed. If He can change me, He can change everything. And if everything changes, that is, if everything in life can become more interesting and more attractive, then all of life can be full of positivity! This is not optimism or manufactured joy but hope, because only the divine could push me that way. Only God on earth could hit me so hard that I am completely changed by the experience. And if God is on earth, everything is made good!
Fr. Carrón’s visit did not fix all of my problems, nor did it answer all my questions. I think it is safe to say that we have more questions now than we did before he spoke to us. In fact, these questions are what keep us true to reality. Faced with questions that we cannot answer, we are humble. We realize that our effort cannot save us; we are dependant. Yet it is this sense of dependency that has made me feel alive in the past few days. I am aware of what I long for, and I have seen a glimpse of it in Fr. Carrón. I have been changed once, and it can happen again, and this is how I know that what I’ve been given is positive.
David Bond, CUA, Washington, DC