LETTERS

edited by Paola Bergamini / pberga@tracce.it

From a Teacher to Her Students
I have always been pained by the situation of one of my classes, which is made up of a number of kids who are familiar with the use and sale of marijuana joints. After yet another “group stunt,” I decided to write each of them a letter. I am grateful for the chance of a dialogue that has opened up with some of them, but this letter sent to me by the mother of one was truly an unexpected event: “My curiosity as a mother led me, despite my son’s prohibition, to spy out the contents of the letter you gave him a while back, in order to find out how you managed to approach such a difficult topic for youth. I read it over and over, and confess that the way you ‘bared yourself’ struck me. I understand how important what you wrote is to my son; he keeps it close at hand (although tightly folded up, so that I cannot read it) on his little desk, perhaps also to help him find the will to grow up and assume burdensome responsibilities. It is a wonderful, unexpected thing to see a teacher hold out a hand to her students and make a careful and generous analysis of adolescent problems, which are not only adolescent. I thank you, because one more often expects rebukes from a teacher than advice, and yet, as you well know, even though our children are very full of themselves and often seem obsessed, they desperately need the help and trust of adults, especially adults they respect. Please persevere–in the future, too–in this educational mission, because you have charisma; you speak to the young people in their own language and know how to enter the heart of those who want to try to give an answer to the many questions–still unresolved–belonging to this demanding phase of development. Silvana”
Luisella, Milan

Being in the Right Place
After these months here in America, I have experienced and pondered something, slowly but with increasing conviction. I had always been convinced that my happiness was somewhere else and in different circumstances than the ones I was in. I could present a thousand examples to show this. First of all, I have always had a “myth of America” because I felt a sort of attraction to this continent, and so I thought that by coming here I would find a place where I would really be happy. Then, when I came, especially in my first months here, I wanted to go back to Italy because I thought that my true happiness lay with my friends and my family. Then I went to California–one of the places that I have wanted to visit ever since I was about 12 years old–and there, too, in a certain sense, I felt at a disadvantage, because I went during the Easter vacation and so I thought I would have been more content if I had been in Italy at the Triduum or doing the Way of the Cross with the friends in Washington. And a thousand other things... Thus, wherever I went, I was very conscious of the limits there, and this became the only thing to which I attached any importance. But after my last vacation in California with my American family, I understood and grasped clearly that my happiness is never in some other place: my happiness is here, now. It was my father who made me understand this. When I was in California, I phoned my parents and told my dad that I was sad, because I was sure that if I had been in Washington, DC, with my friends doing the Way of the Cross, it would have been a hundred times nicer, or if I had been in Italy at the Triduum it would have been a hundred times fuller an experience. And my father continued to tell me, “Look, Giuly, everything is already there, in that place, in the precise condition where you are now.” As usual, you take in things like this, but you don’t understand them fully. Instead, it is just like he said! And this is so true and possible only because here and now I have Jesus Christ. Loving Him here and now, I can be happy, because for me He is something very concrete. Indeed, just today when I returned home I read some e-mails I had received from friends who told me about fantastic things they had done in these days, and I was pleased because their joy was my joy too; I realized that the value of a person does not lie in what he does, but in his relationship with Christ.
Giuly, Washington, DC

Schoolmates in the Bar
A year ago, Giovanni, Luca, some other friends, and I started a School of Community in the Brianza, Italy, area. We meet every two weeks and, afterwards, we go have a beer at Isi’s, a “historic” bar in Carate. A few nights ago, after School of Community, I went to Isi’s and started playing videogames. At a certain point, a boy walked up and said, “Hi! Do you remember me?” I studied him a minute, and replied, “No.” He said, “I am GC, and we were in elementary school together.” We started telling each other how our work was going, what our life was like, and talking about the years we spent together. Suddenly, GC said to me, “Well, you guys are really strange! “ “Us who?” “You Communion and Liberation guys.” I stopped playing, ordered two beers, and we sat down. “Why do you say we are strange?” “I have been watching you for a month, and I must say you are really friends. Here people say bad things about you; they immediately see you as a lobby for business interests and power. But I don’t see you that way–I look at you and see only one thing: you are really friends, you know how to be together. We have been talking for twenty minutes, and already six people have said hello to you. In this bar, one, maybe two people will say hello to each other. The other night, when you and your friends left, they started talking about you in a negative way and, I don’t know why, I contradicted what they were saying. I am struck by your friendship and how you love each other and look at each other. I want to feel loved in the same way, because what I want out of life is the same thing that you desire, which is to be happy.” I stopped him and said, “Listen, we’re meeting Monday at my house. Would you like to come?” He answered, “You are already trying to trap me!” “Okay, then Friday I’ll come to Isi’s. If you want to, we can meet here.” We have been meeting in the bar for three weeks now. I go to meet him because he asked me to. He did not seek out my group; he sought me. With GC I am the one on the line, and I cannot pull back because, even though it costs some effort, life becomes more interesting this way; you are forced to involve everything you are made of. You involve Jesus Christ.
Samuele, Carate Brianza

The Event, Source of Freedom
Dear Fr Giussani:
The word “event,” after having studied its meaning so much, has stayed with me as something that makes things never be the same again after it has happened. The word “what” fills my mind these days, one day after the other. What is the good? What pushes man to put an end to war and raise high the banner of peace? What happened in me several years ago? What led me to get to know the friends from Communion and Liberation here in Peru? What made me live intensely, on numerous occasions, the meaning of their words and the deep foundations that give meaning to the life of many young Peruvians? And yet, I continue to wonder, “Now what is happening to me? What made me grow away from my friends? What led me today to read such different things? What pushes me to try to write a university thesis with a Socialist spirit? What has happened?” These are questions that speak of an incredible life change. Yet this “what” has kept me from turning into a radical materialist, and thus denying the existence of God, since the most convincing proof of His existence is that very question, with its only answer: God. Therefore, I intend to succeed in uniting opposites which until now have seemed irreconcilable. Perhaps my dear friends in that incredible group think that for me, the “event” is not so strong as it seemed in the beginning; nonetheless, I know that I can no longer be confused, because this event pushes me to ask myself other questions, going beyond the limits of the frequency of our meetings, and the games and incredible days we have shared. The “event” pushes me, as though I were guided by a spirit, not to pursue my personal freedom and greatness, because this would be individualism, but rather to join with those who, like me, fight for the most sublime right and the one most inherent in every person: freedom, with all that this means.
Omar Alfredo Gonzalez Guimaray, Huaraz, Peru

A Hunger in the Heart
I have found it necessary–indeed, crucial–to write a short note to you following the CL spiritual exercises. To start with, I am struck with awe over the matter of freedom as explained in our Tuesday Community School. I am moved to tears to realize the way that Fr Giussani has proposed to us to live our faith. Indeed, this entire proposal corresponds and answers a very basic hunger in my heart. I remember when I first met Fr Alfonso, we discussed “faith” and I informed him categorically that I had looked around too much and I was at that point looking for a faith that would last me and that had a permanent connectivity with God. I had no idea that the desire in my heart then was part of the answer I was looking for–and hence, I met the Movement. I have been on the look out for the connectivity and the permanence; in the CL teachings, I have had some pointers to the big question marks in my life. Following the experience at the retreat, I was completely taken aback at what was being said because it so very thoroughly addressed issues that I have had.... I left that Saturday night feeling that a new beginning was a must for me. On deeper reflection, however, I felt deeply convicted of having led a life so far off the mark of what is truly Christian; I felt completely unworthy of the love of Christ. Yet I felt a need to begin, to turn around. But I felt unable or not strong enough to make a commitment to live under this new dispensation. I wondered, would I remain faithful to the commitment if I made it? It’s my freedom, I can almost hear you say! Yes, I would agree, but personally, I judge myself in lacking in the commitment, dedication, conviction, clarity, and assurance of faith that I have seen in you. Most certainly this is all together present in Fr Giussani. While I appreciate that I cannot be a priest, I will be honest with you. I dearly long for that commitment now; I am certain it is the only kind of clarity of faith that will sustain me in the new commitment that I wish to make. Yet if I move forward under my current character, I am sure I will keep falling or even backtracking. God forbid that I should!! Why am I telling you all this? Because I am compelled in my heart to share this personal detail with a person who is mature in faith. In my entire life (many years now), I have never looked at faith from the angle of my serious involvement, and frankly I never looked at the freedom issue. That is the “newest” issue I have heard and that has moved me almost beyond my own comprehension. I am totally guilty of having looked at our Lord in an abstract form, as an historical event of 2000 years past. I have, in the past, contented myself in believing (read, not questioning too much) the facts of that history (believing, as I would, a credible story) and endeavoured to be “reasonably good” whenever I could as a way of defining and living my Christianity. However, depth and understanding have been lacking in me (I now fully realize). Most obviously, I am totally ashamed of myself. I am also rather surprised to note that none of my religious friends in the church ever gave me this outlook. I certainly appreciate that our Lord has chosen to reveal His truths to us/me through the Movement. Frankly, I want to belong to the Movement with a seriousness that should underscore the love and passion I feel toward our Lord.
Priscilla, Nairobi, Kenya

Keeping the Fire Alive
Dearest friends: Today’s entrance antiphon from Acts “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. You will be my witnesses to all the world” summarizes many of my thoughts and feelings from our recent weekend. I feel I have received a new power from all the witnesses who touched my life these past few days–thank you for welcoming me and sharing the many gifts you all have. Jonathan’s heartfelt witness to the power of memory and the presence of Christ were palpable. I feel I now have a better idea of what those who ran into Paul or Andrew or John must have experienced. You touched my soul with Christ’s presence. Fr Jose gave me a new hope, confidence, and appreciation of my family. He seemed able to read my thoughts– always a scary thing during confession–and gently shepherded me in a direction that I know will lead my family closer to God. I felt so at home. I am anxious to use art, music, and literature more in my family–singing with the kids, checking out prints from the library, flipping through Sr Wendy’s books–and in my teaching of medical students and residents. I think I’m finally starting to “get” the critical importance of this in our culture (which is marred by the absence of beauty) and how hungry and thirsty we all are for the true/beautiful/good. I now understand the importance of developing a regular School of Community experience to keep the fire alive and burning (thank you again, Jonathan). I will pray harder for what I know will be a CL explosion in the US–the seeds are being sown–not only in all the CL events, but also in the “intellegentsia”– (there are several Communio circles in our diocese, including one with my brother the priest) and in the “man in the pew.” Magnificat is commonplace everywhere you look (I remember American tourists at Mass at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre flipping through their Magnificats). A special thank you to Peter for his gracious hospitality and all he and his family did to make the exercises a reality. God Bless you all...
Jerry, Wichita, Kansas

Watercolor Lessons
As the sweltering summer heat of the tropics comes to a close with the rains of May, I held my last art class with my 30 students who have come regularly for 2 hours each Saturday, discovering the magic of watercolor, crayons, and listening to me as I told them stories of Philippine folklore. As I have done since the first summer art class in 1995 for indigent children who lived in the depressed area around the Louis Guanella Center, I haved shared many Saturday afternoons with them, teaching them and learning from them as well. They were not very easy to love, at first, since they were indifferent, detached, and suspicious of me and my bag of crayons and storybooks. But after seeing me come week after week, they soon warmed up to me and regarded me as an elder sister who told stories and helped them draw pictures. There were many times in the past years when I have almost given up, as doing this every summer meant giving up chances for out-of-town trips with friends and family and cancelling opportunities for business calls on weekends. But I think what made me strong in my commitment to continue doing this for these children was my rediscovery of my reason for doing so: doing what Christ would have wanted me to do to the least of my brethren. This “renewal” of my commitment came more strongly when I discovered CL in 1999. I came to know, up close and personal, what friendship is all about. I read in Traces how CL communities and families spend summers together, building relationships and cementing bonds of friendship that can last a lifetime. When I think of the many children who have come and gone in my art classes, I think of nine years of building friendships with them, being able to just “be” with them for a few brief summers of their lives, touching them in a very special way. If that was how I spent my summers, have I spent them just as anyone from CL would have? I hope so, because the joy I continue to have in my heart reminds me of what Giussani has mentioned about true friendship: it is a profound companionship to our destiny. My love to Fr Giussani, who inspires me to live my destiny in solidarity and true friendship with my CL family.
Malou, Manila, Philippines