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Concentric Circles

Belonging defines the essence of the “I.” It is like a series of circles, within which man learns what is his responsibility and his commitment to the world. An interview with Ephraim Grinboim, a rabbi in Jerusalem

EDITED BY LUIGI AMICONE

It is not just curiosity about his life that makes us introduce this conversation with our friend, a rabbi in Jerusalem, by giving a brief biographical outline. Belonging means this too, and, we think, it is above all this for a Jew: an “I” that cannot be separated from the historical reality of the “people” sui generis that began with Abraham, the homeland of each and every Jew. The life story of Ephraim Grinboim and his wife Ruthy is, in its own way, emblematic and useful for understanding what “belonging” means, even within the vicissitudes of a history made up of incessant wandering from one place to another throughout the world, often with the enemy at the door, and always with suitcase in hand, ready to emigrate to another geographical, political, and social location, which one tried to imagine would be more hospitable. Ephraim was born in 1954 in New York, into an Orthodox Jewish family. His parents made their alyia (emigration to Israel) in 1957. He teaches in two yeshivot (schools for religious Jews): one for children from 13 to 18 years old and the other for adolescents with psychological, physiological, or social problems (an innovation for Orthodox Jews which only came into being several years ago). Ephraim and Ruthy have ten children.

Ruthy was born in Canada and in 1972 settled with her whole family in their new-found homeland, Israel. “They went to live two streets away from my house,” Ephraimrelates. Someone organized a shidduch (meeting) between them, and after five meetings they decided to marry. What does one do during a shidduch? “One talks, walks about, sees if you are suited to each other... for us, it went well, and we have lived happily ever after!” It seems like a fairy tale, but instead this is a normal family of observant Jews in Jerusalem.

After the introductions, here we are at the interview.

Dear Ephraim, in today’s culture and the prevailing common mentality, any expression of human “belonging” tends to be considered as “partiality,” when it is not seen as “fundamentalism.” On the other hand, great importance is attributed to “belonging” in the context of relations having to do with production: “belonging” to one’s firm, for example. What does “belonging” mean in your experience?
Have you ever tried to throw a stone into a lake?
When a stone falls into the water, it creates lots of concentric circles. “Belonging” is a set of circles, concentric circles united with each other and linked to an inner point; they are similar and at the same time different from each other. We have all been created–stones, plants, birds, and human beings. We all belong to a great circle under heaven. And with all this, the world is divided into four categories: the world of things, the vegetable world, the animal world, and the world of human beings, who are capable of expressing themselves through words. Each category is superior to the preceding one and contains something that the other does not possess. The vegetable world is superior to that of “things,” the animal world is superior to the vegetable, and the world of man, who can talk, is the one that contains all the others. Therefore, each of us belongs to Creation, but there are some circles to which we specifically belong, and others to which we belong indirectly. All men have been created in His image, thus all of us belong to the circle called Man. In Man’s circle are other circles: a man belongs to his land; he belongs to his people; he belongs to his family; he belongs to himself; he belongs to his Creator. For me, the word belonging means responsibility. Thus, I move about among the circles and try to learn what my responsibility, my task is, and what my obligations between one circle and another are.

You are an Orthodox Jew, a rabbi, a teacher–that is, you have made your personal, family, and social life an expression of total, exclusive belonging to the faith of your Fathers and to your people. On the other hand, I know you, I have been a guest in your home, we have eaten and danced together under the same sukkot booth, we have become friends. Our belonging–you a religious Jew, I a Christian, a Catholic, a member of CL–not only has not divided us, but it enables us to engage in dialogue, to be curious about and interested in each other. In your opinion, why does this happen?
As a Jew who tries to respect the precepts of the Torah, my inner belonging and my obligation consist of my responsibility toward my people, the Jewish people. Our Torah teaches us that the Jewish people received from the Creator the special task of respecting the 613 precepts that are a part of a Jew from the moment he is born until his death. This task gives us a special sense of responsibility toward the physical and spiritual maintenance of the Jewish people. I know there are those in the Western world who are afraid of this belonging, but it is important to specify that this belonging is a heavy, great burden we bear on our shoulders and in our inner life.

Is it possible, do you think, not to belong to anyone or anything, except to one’s own opinion and tastes? And if it is possible, what is the human price of this?
The conditio sine qua non for man to achieve an investigation of the truth is to know himself. And when we begin to investigate inside our hearts, we learn that man is made up of different forces. There are forces that lead him toward the Lord and forces that push him away from Him.
We have been created in an earthly world, and earthly forces attract us like a powerful magnet to satisfy our bodily desires. When a man thinks he does not belong to anything, what guides him is his instinct, and he will tend only to his self-centered needs, without ever arriving at certain values that obligate him to renounce certain pleasures and certain personal desires.

Pardon me, Ephraim, but you didn’t answer one question: why are you and I, who are so different, friends?
The Lord has chosen to give me an outgoing personality and a jovial spirit. And for this reason I feel in a positive way that it is right to be open toward others.
When I was talking about the circles to which we belong, well, you are undoubtedly part of one of these circles to which we both belong. We have one circle, and maybe more than one, in common. It is true that the fulcrum, the innermost point, is different for you and for me, and there we are different, but it is written in the maxims of the Fathers: “Accept every human being in a positive way,” and again: “Man, who has been created in His image and likeness, is dear.” Religion teaches us that all men, precisely because they are men, are united in the depths of their soul because they have been created in His image. So you are my companion in the life that the Creator has given us. All this does not erase the differences in faith between us, and it is plausible that two persons searching for Truth may feel profoundly connected with each other.